In the context of a conversation about whether or not playing with me on cam or phone is like cheating, a caller said, “As much fun as I’ve had on our calls, I don’t have illusions that you and I have a heart to heart relationship.”
My response was, “I have more than just a sexual relationship with my callers, but I don’t replace the relationship they have or would have with someone they meet in real life.”
This is very true and not something I would have guessed could happen in my early years as a phone sex operator. Back then, I played a fantasy version of a woman to match the stock photos of a woman I portrayed. I developed some slightly deeper relationships with my callers, but the vast majority of my relationships with callers didn’t go beyond an exchange of money and a fantasy.
That changed when I started camming and using my real pictures. I let my callers in and I have various levels of intimacy with them. For some, it is still simply an exchange. And I’m happy with those who just come to me to have a orgasm. For others, there is something more there. With many I have what feels like a friendship with heavy flirting and when we play, a moment of heat. With others there is something else. With some, I slip into a world in which I am actually with the caller and sometimes that excitement slips into my everyday life and I buzz with an energy that comes from a place of wanting more, though I know the line and will not cross it.
Many months ago, I was working late in the evening when a call came in. He told me to charge a larger amount than what would cover a single call. I was excited by this because it seemed he knew, without ever having spoken with me that he would want more time with me than just one call. The idea that something on my website inspired him to want me that badly was something out of my fantasy world. To be desired like that without being known is thrilling. We did a cam to cam show and that was the first and only time I saw him. He called himself Daddy on the call, and the title instantly made me wet, as it long has. I used to belong to a dominant I called Mister and Sir. His other submissive called him Daddy. At first, I was a little uncomfortable hearing her call him that, but at the same time, I longed to call him that myself. Over time, I became more comfortable with it and realized that I wanted the sort of relationship that is a Daddy/baby girl relationship. Aubrey has described the relationship to me many times, and it has finally sunken in. A Daddy is a man who inspires heated sexual longing. He is a protector, a teacher and a guide. He is usually older, but that is not required. It is more about him having wisdom to pass along while being somewhat stronger than his baby girl, or at least stronger in the ways she needs that strength.
That is exactly how my Daddy is with me. From the beginning, he would say things to me to gently guide me to do better with my work. Back when he first called me, I had fallen off keeping up with my blog and he tried to motivate me to post again. I resisted some of his pushing me to do better at first, but I ended up wanting more. He started calling me in the morning when he was in the shower. He would be naked under the warm water, stroking his cock to my words and voice while I touched myself to his deep voice. He doesn’t call every day, but often enough that I know it won’t be long before I hear from him again. It is an awesome relationship and exactly what I never knew I always wanted.
This is true of all of the relationships I have with my callers. At the risk of sounding like I take my work too seriously, I must say that my job is so fulfilling because of these relationships. I liked my job back when it was all about fantasy. I love it now that it is real and I look forward to seeing where it will take me because I get so much out of what I do.
