It’s been a while since I did A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl. I took notes on a day that turned out to be a little on the quiet side, but still loads of fun:
Man with sexy voice called for a cam show. When I told him I love cum, he said he drips a lot of pre cum and gets about 8 good shots every time he cums. We talked about 69ing and he came while watching me touch my pussy.
Worked on editing videos
Had breakfast
Cam show with a guy who is all about my tits. I teased him a little and then eventually pulled them out and squeezed them, sucked my nipples and shook them for him until he came, making super hot noises.
Uploaded videos to Clips4Sale and chatted with some callers
Worked on advertising
Talk to potential caller about Skype show
Phone sex call about pussy bukkake. Ten guys lined up to fuck my pussy and end it by jerking off big loads of cum on the outside of my pussy. The caller came hard thinking about licking up the cum and using my mouth as I get fucked.
Caller paid for a show. Set appointment for later today. He is very particular about my outfit. We’ll see what he comes up with for today.
Second call with the guy who likes pussy bukkake. He came hard again and just like before, I didn’t get to cum. I was vibrating my pussy the whole time and it made me crazy to do this, but I didn’t masturbate after. I try to save it for shows!
Chatted on Skype with man I haven’t spoken to in a year.
Did the appointment. Put on pink fuck me platform heels along with my sexy outfit for the day. I was surprised he went with what I already had on. Usually he has something particular in mind! I fucked myself; mostly rode the toy and watched him jerk hard and shoot off a big load.
Did a cam-to-cam show with a long time caller who loves anal. I told him I got worked up on my last call and didn’t get to cum yet. This guy made sure I did. When I was still twitching from my orgasm, I turned around and fucked my ass for him until he dripped out a big load all over his balls.
Did a cam-to-cam topless show for a guy who loves strapons. I showed him how I would fuck him with my biggest toy and he came A LOT. It was so hot.
Talked to caller about potential show
Had lunch
Cam to cam call with a hot man. He had a HUGE load, which I was definitely happy about.
Hot cam to cam with a new caller. He wanted me to imagine being man handled by him and then fucked hard.
Cam to cam with a quiet man I last played with about a year ago. It was great getting him off again!
Sent out a few emails including one to a fellow cam girl who is helping me with Clips4Sale
Not too many big things have changed since I last wrote in March, but there was one big and exciting change. Aubrey had her baby! She honored me by allowing me to watch the birth. She was so brave and strong through the painful labor and she had a beautiful baby! I bring you this news in part to note that Aubrey and I will not be doing 2 girl for a while. When we get back to it, I will make sure to get the news out!
Aside from that, I booked a vacation for this summer. I’m really excited to enjoy some time at the beach. I previously mentioned that my mom is having some health issues. She seems to be going up and down. Sometimes she’s doing great and other times she struggles. I’m finding myself spending more and more time with my parents to help them out. My three sisters live out of state and at least one visits every 6-8 weeks, which is great. I am here to fill in the gaps. It’s nice spending extra time with my parents. We have a good time together even though there are moments that make us sad with what we are dealing with right now.
I’ve been debating whether or not to announce a new site Aubrey and I are working on. Though the site is bare bones right now, I have decided to share anyway. We are launching a content site where we will post all of our videos, pictures, audio and even stories. So far, we have a placeholder page up with links to my solo and our 2 girl Clips4Sale stores. In the future, the site will be made up nice with graphics and previews of each video including options to purchse on Clips4Sale and directly through the site, but for now there are just links to Clips4Sale. The site is www.FilthyFetish.com. Please check it out! Here are the direct links to the stores:
I may be switching my schedule a bit and taking off Thursdays, instead of Wednesdays. I’ll post a message when this happens but for now, I have a few weeks of switching back and forth between having Wednesday off and Thursday off. I will make a note on Twitter, but feel free to text, call or email if you are unsure.
Here are some highlights of some of the calls and shows I’ve been doing lately:
I’ve been advertising in Australia lately and have gotten a few calls with men who have the sexy accent! One in particular stands out. He likes taking his time and having me fuck myself hard with my toy. He is the strong, silent type and there is a lot of mystery to him, which is such a turn on.
One of my long time regulars had some dates with a shemale. He called me for phone sex after each date and it was so hot hearing what he did with her!
I lost touch with one of my callers for a while, but he came back around a few months ago. We’ve done two marathon phone sex calls since then. He is the best story teller. He could make anything sound interesting and I am entertained every second! As nice, sweet and sexy as he is, he also has this delicious dark side when he gets down to the business of getting off.
There was a pause in the heavy beat-me-up BDSM shows for a while, but two of my favorite sadists called recently. I bruised my right breast with one. With the help of arnica gel, it healed up in about a week. Three days after the bruises were gone, the other called to bruise my right breast again!
I’ve done many hot calls and shows with this sexy older man who cums twice in a quick call on almost every call! He likes trying new things, so we’ve done a lot of different things including a show with odd insertions and a bit of pussy stretching!
I’ve played a few times with a panty boy. I’ve been talking to him for just about three years and we have so much fun together. Our shows usually have at least a hint of me being dominant (but not much, as this isn’t really me). What I love so much about our shows is that I really can be myself. I draw from that small part of me is dominant, but I can turn right around and be a total slut and have him fuck me while he’s calling me Miss Lucy. It’s so hot! He also loves tasting his own pre cum for me.
There have been so many awesome shows and calls. Definitely too many to list. I’ll have to do A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl again soon!
I moved in with the three kinky people I mentioned in my last post. It has been nice being surrounded by people I can say anything to. I’m decent at being a chameleon; fitting in with most groups of people. My interests are probably not even thought of by most people and I can’t talk about my job to everyone. I’ve tried, but it makes most people uncomfortable so I’ve gone back to feeling people out before opening my mouth! Again, it’s nice being around people who are ok and up to talking about anything. My roommates are semi-nudists, so that has been interesting for me! I adjusted to seeing quite a few naked people at fetish parties. I was commanded to be naked or mostly naked by my ex dominant. I still wasn’t completely prepared to be in a naked household! When the couple (a dominant man and his submissive) are home, they are often naked. Especially the man. It may seem odd that I would be thrown of by nudity. I guess it’s the context. I am not used to seeing it where I live! On the couch, passing me in the hall and frying a pan of eggs in the kitchen! I might just have to join them at some point!
My set up at the new place is great. I’m in a large room and was able to organize my massive collection of lingerie, stockings and heels! I can stand to buy another dresser or storage systems for my other cam outfits; dresses, skirts and tops. My closet has two large mirror doors. If I turn my cam a bit, callers get a great view of my tits and ass at the same time! And I finally have room to stand! That has been a challenge in the last two rooms I worked from.
Aubrey and I are back to doing 2 girl days, though not as frequent as in the past and we’ve had to reschedule a few times as things haven’t completely calmed down yet. I expect the next few months before her baby is due to be hit or miss and once the baby is born, Aubrey will be restricted from doing penetration for a while, not to mention having a new little one to care for! To anyone who is reading this: catch us while you can! Especially if very pregnant women is a turn on for you. Visit our 2 girl site and follow us on Twitter @2GirlCam to keep updated on upcoming 2 girl days! The next date is this coming Monday, March 21.
Since it’s been a while since I posted, here are just a few highlights from the last few months:
A very young (early 20’s) cutie who is in the military and calling me from overseas when he gets a moment alone.
An absolute sweetheart who has sent me a few love notes via email between our shows. It turns out, he is a bit delightfully twisted and we’ve tried out a few kinky things.
A man who likes longer shows. I enjoy quickies as much, but it has been nice chatting with him before getting to the sex stuff. It’s sort of like going on dates with him; dates that always have sexy endings!
A man who likes group sex. He created a video including a picture of me on my hands and knees with a moving image of a man behind, fucking me and a moving image of him stroking near my face!
My hot Daddy is still calling! It’s great meeting and playing with new people, but there is something very cool about developing special relationships over time. He’s started having me prepare before he calls; butt plug in, nipple clamps on, vibrator on my pussy. He calls when I am already moaning!
On the last few shows with one of my panty boys, he brought out a cup to catch his cum and eat it. We still haven’t gotten him to eat all of his cum, but he’s getting there. It’s not the act so much as the gesture that does it for me. Making him taste his cum and knowing he’s doing it to please me is very cool!
I could go on and on! There really are too many highlights in my head to actually list here! It’s been a great few months!
A month has passed since my last post and the time certainly flew! When I posted my video update, I thought I would either be moving back in with my friend or staying at my boyfriend’s house. It turns out there was a third option! I have decided to move in with some kinky people. I found them through Fetlife. I’m excited! My work can be very isolating. In the last two and half years, the only new friend I’ve made was Aubrey’s husband. In the new house, I’ll be sharing space with two men and a woman. I haven’t met the second man, but the first and his submissive are very cool people and they have a dog. Truth be told, I would have been sold on their dog alone, but it helps that they are so awesome.
My mom is doing pretty well. She has had some treatments that seem to be helping with her health issues and we’re seeing some improvements. Christmas was fun! My entire immediate family was there and one of my sisters brought her dogs. I can’t imagine ever having too many dogs around. We had amazing food. The menu was created by my brother-in-law (an amateur cook who could delight any food critic) and for once, the men kicked us women out of the kitchen! All I did to help was chop some scallions and wash a few dishes. My brother-in-law also made me my first Manhattan. Everybody was in good spirits and we had a lot of fun.
2 girl is still on hold. I will announce our return on here and on Twitter once Aubrey and I schedule some dates.
It’s been a busy and fun time at work around here lately! A few callers who I haven’t heard from in a while did some shows and calls with me and I’ve played with some new guys too. Here a few phone sex and cam highlights from the last month:
The return of some of my favorite sadists. They ordinarily play with me solo only occasionally, saving most of our play time for days Aubrey can beat me. I was having quite a dry spell of heavy BDSM via cam and both came back on the same day! I brought out my newish pervertible cane. I pulled the tension rod off window blinds. It works well as a cane, but I’m thinking I need to buy something a little more harsh.
A bunch of calls with a man who loves me to be his gangbang slut. I nearly always have more than one orgasm when he calls!
Enjoyed some time with a hottie who has a smoking fetish (I vape).
On my first call of the day one morning I was nearly ruined for everyone who came after. He knows how to mix pain with pleasure and I had so many orgasms, I needed a little break before moving on with my day!
Used my way with the written word followed by creating a video to cater to a caller with an interest in control, panties and a bit of financial play (not ordinarily something I do much with, but my playful take on it seems to fit him).
Had some time with my “other” girlfriend who loves to imagine I have a cock. I’m not a man in the fantasy. Instead, I’m a shemale with matching big tits to my large dick. There is something about playing with her that makes me feel loved, romanced, incredibly aroused and surprisingly somewhat dominant.
I pulled off a show for a man who loves a view of my tits, asshole and feet- ask me to show you how I do it all at once!
One caller who I’ve been playing with for ten years called. He has this hot fantasy involving an exam by Nurse Lucy and a few student nurses. Tonight we switched it up a little and I played his psychologist. It was fun and hot to try a slightly different role.
If you like the photos included in this post, check out my Twitter feed (@LustyLucyPlays). They are screen shots from one of the teaser videos I made. I’ve created a few in the last month and plan on making more and uploading them to Twitter!
I’ve been staring at the blinking cursor on blank posts over the last two months or so! I want to keep up with my blog to keep everyone informed on the wonderful world of Lucy, but unfortunately I have been lacking maybe inspiration and motivation, but definitely perspiration. Some updates: my life has taken some turns lately. My mom is going through some health issues and I’m preparing for a move back to my old place (it is nearly fixed up after the fire). I wrote here and here about the fact that my boyfriend and I are not having sex. We decided to see a kink friendly therapist. I feel so lucky to be living in a time when that kind of help exists! She is very knowledgeable about BDSM and is not only knowledgeable about polyamory, but also experienced as she lives that lifestyle. My boyfriend and I are pretty far out from knowing how things will work out, but the journey has been good so far. I’ve been holding off on any kind of kink (outside of what I do on my calls and cam shows). Sometimes I get antsy, but really all it takes to snap me back to feeling sure waiting is worthwhile is a moment with my boyfriend; him cracking me up to the point of tears, hugging him and smelling his neck or even just looking at his face and knowing it has been my favorite face for the last 12 years.
Aubrey and I have decided to put two girl days on hold for a little bit; probably until the new year starts but possibly longer. No worries, everything is great between us and I cannot wait to get back to it! Circumstances caused us to need to pause, but we will be back at it as soon as we can.
I expect to be spending many Wednesdays and some weekends at my parent’s house to help out with my mom’s health issues. This means even less time for updates on my blog, but I will do what I can. I’m looking forward to getting settled back into the old house with my roommate (and landlady). I’m looking forward to spending time with her as she is also a dear friend. I’m having trouble remembering the space in her basement (where I will be working), but I have an idea of how I want to set things up- hopefully with space for standing room as well as lounging while playing. So many of you like the full view and the room I’ve been working out of at my boyfriend’s house is just too small for that! I certainly won’t miss hitting my head on the slopping ceiling!
I am still working the hours on my schedule page, including availability via appointment on my days off, but I have been trying something new- a few hours every other Saturday (about 9am – 1pm EST). It’s been going great so far. Once I’m sure I’ll be sticking to this, I will update it on my schedule page with the upcoming dates. For now, I’m still thinking of this as a trial period. Feel free to check in by text, email, Skype or Yahoo if you want to know which Saturdays I’m working. I also want to note that I usually tweet when I have a schedule change, so if you can’t find me during my regular hours, peek at my Twitter page @LustyLucyPlays.
It has been two and a half years since I started doing this full time again and I am still very much into it! Every day there is something new and exciting happening. No matter what is going on in my life, my work provides a predictable constant- that no day is predictable and I love it!
Just want to make it known that I am trying out a new schedule, including availability on the days I had previously not taken calls:
Here is my general (and sometimes subject to change) schedule, EST:
Monday: 9:00 am – 8:00 pm
Tuesday: 9:00 am – 8:00 pm
Wednesday: By appointment
Thursday: 9:00 am – 8:00 pm
Friday: 9:00 am – 8:00 pm
Saturday: By appointment
Sunday: By appointment
A few things to note; sometimes I get used up and worn out early. Staying on until 8pm (and sometimes later) happens often, but sometimes doesn’t. You’re always welcome to text me any time. I am now offering the option to make appointments with me on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays. The best way to do that is by emailing me or texting me. You can also contact me on Skype or Yahoo when I am online to make arrangements. Visit my contact page for all my contact information.
It’s been a while since I’ve made a day in the life of a cam girl post so I thought I’d get to it! On this particular day, I worked long hours. I was on from 8:30 am until 10:30 pm. Many things can happen in fourteen hours doing what I do and sure enough, all the things happened on this day! There was a lot of variety in the type of play I had.
Chatted on Skype about potential shows
Did a naughty role play on a cam show. The caller was my neighbor. One night, while my husband was out of town, he looked outside his window and saw me “entertaining” a man who was not my husband in my master bedroom. The caller showed up at my door and blackmailed me to suck him and fuck him.
Chatted on Skype about potential shows
Updated pages on website
Started to respond to an email from caller
Chatted on Skype about a potential show
Did a sensual domination cam to cam show in which I instructed this hot man on how to stroke to please me. He showed me his tongue, cock and a big cum load in his hand afterward.
A sweet and sexy man did a cam to cam show with me. He had me spank myself hard, as if I was over his knee and he was giving me the spanking. My butt was so red and it made my pussy very wet! He then had me stick my ass at the cam while I fingered my asshole with one finger and then two. He wanted me to fuck my ass with a dildo at the end, but he got so hot watching my fingers that he came before we got to it!
Continued updating pages on website
Chatted on Skype with Aubrey and some potential callers. Wrote an extra fun sadistic dominants I’ve been playing with for a while. We made some plans for a show with Aubrey beating me for him next week. I think we’re going to try to bruise my butt, aka the beast (because it doesn’t bruise easily).
The same sadistic dominant ended up doing a show with me right then! He had me bind my breasts tight and then put a bra on them before they got swollen. I beat the tops of my breasts for a bit before he had me take the bra back off. He ordered me to insert my butt plug in my ass and a dildo in my pussy. I sat on them and used the tension rod from mini blinds as a pervertible cane to beat all over my breasts. I put on my nipple clamps and he had me lift them by the chain while I caned my breasts some more. Finally he let me cum with my vibrator on my clit and two holes still stuffed.
Took a break to close the pool until next summer
Lunch
Continued updating pages on website
Dealt with a kid trying to trick me into doing paid time with him via text
Continued updating pages on website
Chatted on Skype about a potential show
Responded by email to fellow cam/phone worker
Chatted with potential caller who turned out to be a wanker
Did a smoking show (I don’t smoke, I vape but I still call it a smoking show) with a very hot man. He called me mommy for the first time since we started playing about a year ago. I sucked my dildo, titty fucked it and bit my nipple all while blowing vapor at the camera.
Chatted on Skype with potential caller
Did panty pee cam to cam show. He had me pee with my panties on while sniffing and licking a pair of dirty ones. It was hot seeing him cum so hard and so much to the nasty things I did.
Did cam to cam with guy with a big cock. He stroked hard while I laid back and rubbed my pussy and told him what I would do to suck his cock and get fucked. I didn’t cum, but immediately after this show…
Did Daddy humiliation show where the guy asked me why I was so horny and already naked. I told him I hadn’t cum yet after the last show. He said, “did he say he’d choke you while he fucked you? Did he say he’d slap your face while he fucked you? Did he call you a fat slut?” and so on until I got off on my vibrator. Then he said he’d keep me like that all night. Then he hung up.
Answered emails. Finished email to caller that I started earlier in the day.
Chatted on Skype with potential callers
Responded to emails by fellow cam worker (a Domme)
Went through the clothes I got back from the fire (they took things to remove the smoke smell and I just got the repairable stuff back) looking for my red bikini and a white tank top- a request from a possible caller. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to call but I’m looking forward to a shower show with him. Hopefully soon.
Please check out the new Tumblr blog PhoneSexBloopers.com to read about some of the crazy things that happen on calls, shows and off time for both me and Aubrey!
I have more jack off material available on both my store and the 2girlcam.com store:
One of the top things I’m asked by callers is, “What are you into?” I often throw the question back to the caller because I’m here to serve him. I get off on pleasing people and the fact is, I like so many different things that a caller is bound to get me going by having me cater to him. It’s easy enough to figure out my kink list by exploring the pages on my site and blog posts, but I thought I’d make a list as close as possible to being in order by favor (though this should be viewed as fluid depending on my mood or more likely, the person I’m playing with). I’m also sharing a favorite porn list.
My personal kinks:
Being topped by a dominant man – a Master, Sir or Daddy Dom. I like service, being controlled, pain, humiliation, degradation to an extent and rope play.
Vanilla play is shared in the top spot with being topped by a dominant man. I am submissive by orientation but it is as important as regular sex for me. This includes giving and receiving pussy eating, sucking cock, fucking, making out, hand jobs, etc.
Cum fetish (ok, this goes with just about everything on the list, but it earns a spot because it’s a huge part of my personal kink)
The idea of cuckolding someone (idea only as I have never done this)
Foot fetish play
Pee play
Playing with sissies
Being topped by a dominant woman
Topping a submissive man or woman. I like playful humiliation, control, receiving service and body worship. I am becoming more and more interested in exploring sadistic levels of pain.
Tickling (this is more something I am curious about. I think I’d love it if I played more with it. If you like tickling and you’re reading this; please consider trying 2 girl so I can try this out!)
Jack off instruction/guided masturbation
Smoking/vaping fetish
Small penis humiliation
Shoe fetish
Role playing
It’s hard to list everything as I have tried so many interesting things in my years as a phone/cam girl, so this is just a general list. There are things I have done once, loved but never repeated as well as variations and elaborations on things on the list. I also think I may have forgotten some things completely, but this is what comes to mind for now.
My favorite porn, in order:
Solo man masturbating and cumming
Cuckold/creampie eating
Older man, younger woman
Pussy eating (close up)
Gangbang/gangbang creampie/pussy bukkake
Submissive woman being dominated by a man or men
Submissive man being dominated by a man
Submissive woman being dominated by a woman or women
Foot fetish (dominant woman making a man worship her feet)
Straight man sucks cock
Autofellatio (self suck)
Hentai
Voyeur
There you have it; a full guide to my personal kinks. Coming soon: a list of my current fantasies!
In the context of a conversation about whether or not playing with me on cam or phone is like cheating, a caller said, “As much fun as I’ve had on our calls, I don’t have illusions that you and I have a heart to heart relationship.”
My response was, “I have more than just a sexual relationship with my callers, but I don’t replace the relationship they have or would have with someone they meet in real life.”
This is very true and not something I would have guessed could happen in my early years as a phone sex operator. Back then, I played a fantasy version of a woman to match the stock photos of a woman I portrayed. I developed some slightly deeper relationships with my callers, but the vast majority of my relationships with callers didn’t go beyond an exchange of money and a fantasy.
That changed when I started camming and using my real pictures. I let my callers in and I have various levels of intimacy with them. For some, it is still simply an exchange. And I’m happy with those who just come to me to have a orgasm. For others, there is something more there. With many I have what feels like a friendship with heavy flirting and when we play, a moment of heat. With others there is something else. With some, I slip into a world in which I am actually with the caller and sometimes that excitement slips into my everyday life and I buzz with an energy that comes from a place of wanting more, though I know the line and will not cross it.
Many months ago, I was working late in the evening when a call came in. He told me to charge a larger amount than what would cover a single call. I was excited by this because it seemed he knew, without ever having spoken with me that he would want more time with me than just one call. The idea that something on my website inspired him to want me that badly was something out of my fantasy world. To be desired like that without being known is thrilling. We did a cam to cam show and that was the first and only time I saw him. He called himself Daddy on the call, and the title instantly made me wet, as it long has. I used to belong to a dominant I called Mister and Sir. His other submissive called him Daddy. At first, I was a little uncomfortable hearing her call him that, but at the same time, I longed to call him that myself. Over time, I became more comfortable with it and realized that I wanted the sort of relationship that is a Daddy/baby girl relationship. Aubrey has described the relationship to me many times, and it has finally sunken in. A Daddy is a man who inspires heated sexual longing. He is a protector, a teacher and a guide. He is usually older, but that is not required. It is more about him having wisdom to pass along while being somewhat stronger than his baby girl, or at least stronger in the ways she needs that strength.
That is exactly how my Daddy is with me. From the beginning, he would say things to me to gently guide me to do better with my work. Back when he first called me, I had fallen off keeping up with my blog and he tried to motivate me to post again. I resisted some of his pushing me to do better at first, but I ended up wanting more. He started calling me in the morning when he was in the shower. He would be naked under the warm water, stroking his cock to my words and voice while I touched myself to his deep voice. He doesn’t call every day, but often enough that I know it won’t be long before I hear from him again. It is an awesome relationship and exactly what I never knew I always wanted.
This is true of all of the relationships I have with my callers. At the risk of sounding like I take my work too seriously, I must say that my job is so fulfilling because of these relationships. I liked my job back when it was all about fantasy. I love it now that it is real and I look forward to seeing where it will take me because I get so much out of what I do.
I wrote “As Mister’s submissive part I” a long time ago and promised I would share more about my time as Mister’s submissive in the future. It’s hard to remember the details of the relationship after so much time has passed, but reliving it to write this post has been fun.
In my first post about the relationship, I explained some of the rules Mister had for me and what I did in service to him. I did not go into the times we played, so I thought I would focus on that in this post. The first night I spent with him, I kneeled below him at the table when we ate dinner. After eating, I served him an apple martini, made to his specifications. We fooled around a bit but I don’t recall much else of what happened that evening. In the morning, he went to work and gave me a list of things to clean in the house. He came back at lunch and inspected what I had done, expressing how pleased he was with me. Then he took me to his dungeon.
It was appropriately located in his basement, which was small but had just enough room to offer variety in play. At the bottom of the stairs and to the right was a St. Andrews cross with whips hanging on either side. To the left of that was a futon for aftercare and fucking. On the other side of the futon sat “the tower”. It worked just as a wooden horse does, but was constructed a little different. There was a tall wooden pillar with a removable block near the bottom that could fit into different slots depending on the height of the submissive being used on it. Once seated on the tower, the submissive’s ankles could be tied so her knees pointed down, causing immense pain to her pussy as her weight pushed her harder on to the block. On the far side of the dungeon was a chair that a person could be tied to with legs spread for various types of torture. Mister built all of the furniture with incredible skill. Opposite the BDSM furniture was an armoire which held implements for beating people, items to do electricity play and needle play, hoods, cuffs, sounding instruments and more. The walls were painted red and the floor was covered with mats suitable for wrestling.
When I saw the dungeon for the first time that afternoon, Mister didn’t have a lot of time to play with me so I only got a taste of his sadism. He had me stand facing the St. Andrew’s cross and instructed me to raise my arms up, hold them out at a “v” and place my hands on the top of it. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he got a whip off the wall. There was a pause as I stood there naked and terrified. My pussy started to leak. He cracked the whip in the air so loud I jumped and then he began striking it against my back. Before that night, I had been struck by hands and a belt; both delivering what kinky folks call “thuddy pain” rather than “stingy pain”. Often times, submissives and masochists have a preference in type of pain. The whip that afternoon was my first taste of sharp stingy. It would be much, much later that I realized I prefer thuddy, but will eagerly take stingy to please the person hurting me.
I took the pain and after he left to return to work, I admired the red marks in the long mirror in the dungeon, in the bathroom and later, at home.
Some weekend later, I arrived at Mister’s house after a long week at work. He pushed me against the wall in the kitchen and kissed me hard. He told me to make him an apple martini, a drink for myself and to meet him in the dungeon. When I got there, I was trembling. Mister had a very imposing way about him. He was 6’5’’ and as he often said, his skin color (a dark black- but his race did not add to my fear, personally) and bald head did not help. His Fetlife page showed his list of kinks which were heavier than others and within his pictures were images of very bruised women he played with. He would say he was put off by the fact that people thought he was scary, but I think he secretly liked it.
I kneeled in front of Mister where he sat on the futon. I handed him his martini and sipped mine. He had his laptop in front of him and a tripod with a camera on it facing the St. Andrew’s cross. He asked if I was ready and I nodded and took a big gulp of my drink. He told me to stand in front of the cross and he put boxing glove like things on my hands as the broadcast to his cam show started. He lifted my mitt-covered hands straight above me and chained them to a hard point in the ceiling. Then he put a hood over my head and began beating me. He used a baton on my thighs. He had a habit of doing even hits. Four medium-hard hits to my left thigh, two hard ones, three more medium ones and then a whale. He would repeat this on my right thigh. I hated the rhythm of it. I loved the play, but knowing it would end in one extraordinarily hard hit at the end gave me an unpleasant feeling of anticipation that I never ended up shaking in the time I was with him. He beat my breasts with his fists and kicked my cunt with his boot. Then he stood behind me and pushed my face up to his. I liked the feeling of closeness. He started to choke me and after squeezing my throat a few times, I passed out. He must have noticed something because he asked if I was ok. I said, “yes” but found out later that it was the wrong response. He didn’t actually know that he had choked me out and considering I had passed out, I was supposed to say I wasn’t ok. But he didn’t know it at the time, so we continued playing.
He removed the hood and unchained my wrists from the ceiling and pushed me on my belly. He started flogging my back. I love the flogger. Even when it’s incredibly painful, it is my favorite implement. On its own, it probably wouldn’t have caused me to break down, but I was frightened after passing out and after a few more strikes of the flogger, I started crying for the first time in my experience as a bottom and submissive. The play ended then. He gave me a little aftercare- mild snuggling and showed me what the people viewing the cam show were saying in the chat room.
Some weekend later, Mister threw a party. I helped him prep for it and shyly mingled with his guests once things got going. I met a lot of Mister’s friends for the first time that night including a man they called Iron Hands. He was an avid rock climber and his hands had become so tough he earned that name. At some point, I was standing near the basement door when Mister turned to Iron Hands and said, “get her”. Mister grabbed the hair at the back of my head and Iron Hands pushed me to my hands and knees. Mister forced me to crawl down the basement stairs and when I got to the basement, Iron hands started beating me with his hands, sometimes open and sometimes balled up in fists. He beat me for a long time. Sometimes even kicking me. He would ask me questions while he hurt me and my response was always, “I don’t know.” I was so meek in my submissive position, I couldn’t answer him in a more straight forward way. My response always made him laugh before he’d hit me again. After a time, he had me on my belly and he used a chain to hog tie me. Finally, it hit me. This man was in incredibly good shape and he wasn’t going to get worn out before me. I never wanted to call “red” (the universal shout to stop), but I asked him, “Am I going to have to say ‘red’? When will you stop?” and his response was, “I’m not going to run out of energy any time soon.” So I said it and he stopped beating me.
My time with Mister was full of excitement. A lot of parties, a lot of play and devoted service from me. It was relatively short – only three months long, which was as long as my second D/s relationship with Michael (more about that in a future post), but an experience I’ll never forget.
Since November of last year, I haven’t been having much sex with my boyfriend. This has been one-sided. He seemed to have lost interest and I thought perhaps his sex drive went down because he is approaching 40, which from what I understand happens sometimes with men. A side note, I’ve heard some women get hornier around the time some men start to lose interest, but this hasn’t happened for me yet. I’ve always had a good sex drive and it hasn’t gotten higher or lower. It turns out the reason my boyfriend is losing interest isn’t a mystery to him and it isn’t about his age. He is clear on why he lost interest and he tried to tell me a few months ago, but it didn’t sink in for me until he repeated the reason when we talked last week.
My boyfriend has a dark side, mostly when it comes to his sense of humor. He is also pleasantly open minded. But overall, he is a straight-laced, mostly vanilla sexually (which I don’t mean in a bad way at all as I have no issues with those who hardly stray from the norm, I’m just not one of them) and the kind of guy who always wanted the white picket fence sort of life. I am not that way. I have always been attracted to dark, mysterious, out of the norm kind of things in all aspects of life, but most notably when it comes to sex. Much of my attraction to the odd things in life start and end with learning about these things but when it comes to sex, I actually want to do many of these odd things and when it comes to BDSM, it is a part of who I am.
I have had fantasies about control since I was a child. The fantasies became sexual and included pain play when I grew up and became a sexual being. I met my boyfriend when I was 24. A few months before he proposed to me, in 2010, my sister introduced me to Fetlife. I like to call it the kinky Facebook. It’s a social networking site where people can explore BDSM, polyamory and all manner of kink and fetishes. I started reading about what people were doing through Fetlife and continued to do so while I was planning my wedding. I don’t understand or even remember the exact progression of things, but a month before the wedding, things came to a head. I got freaked out about the idea that I felt I might be submissive sexually and romantically and that I might never get to explore it. The feelings of submission, which included a nearly daily session of fantasizing at night to help me fall asleep since I was about five years old, were powerful. It was terrible timing. I didn’t want to break my fiancé’s heart, but I had to do it. I broke off the engagement.
Over the next two years, I did things in the BDSM community including giving myself over to two dominant men (one who was extremely sadistic and the other who was into pain as well, but was more notably interested in exploring the dynamic of a D/s relationship), had a few trysts with other kinky people, met a service submissive with a strong foot fetish who I topped for several months and got involved with some kinky women including my girlfriend, Aubrey. In that time, my boyfriend and I got back together and broke up twice (both times because I decided to explore kink some more) before getting back together and staying together a little over two years after the first break up.
A year into our newest reunion, I told him I’d like to start exploring kink again, but this time with him. This was in November of last year. All I had to do was say it. It was enough for my boyfriend to lose interest in having sex with me. He isn’t withholding as punishment, it’s more organic. He still looks at me and is attracted to me, but he sort of doesn’t feel it, if that makes sense. He knows he likes my big, round ass and breasts. He thinks I’m beautiful. And he’ll smack my butt, squeeze my breasts and pretty much behave in all the ways he used to, except when it comes to sex. He is afraid I’ll leave him because I want to explore BDSM again and it’s because this is the reason I broke up with him the last three times. For whatever reason, this fear is affecting his desire to fuck me.
We are actively looking into ways to fix the issue and we are still having sex, it’s just far less frequent. I am confident we’ll figure this out. My boyfriend and I have been together for twelve years (minus the two years after the engagement ended). We have been through more difficult trials in life individually and as a couple than this. I’m just glad that we’re both clear on the reason our sex life has slowed down. It’s a start. I question whether or not I should post this to my work-related blog, but I have decided I will because, as I’ve said before, I want to be authentic on my blog. This is not very sexy, but it is the truth.
I won’t be taking calls for the next week. Consider playing with my friend Candy or my girlfriend while I’m gone. They are both hot women who give stellar service.
In between calls, I’m usually doing what I like to call “back end work” (bring on the jokes). This includes working on posts for my blogs, Tweeting, updates to all my sites, running ads and sometimes working on content (videos, editing pics, audio, stories, etc.), though I usually do this kind of work on Wednesdays (my day “off”; meaning I’m not taking calls, but really I am working). My boyfriend is working on getting his bachelor’s degree and just took a class that I should take! It’s a customer relations class having to do with social marketing. I stole his book and will be reading it between calls in the next few weeks.
When I’m done with that kind of work, I often pull up Age of Empires, a strategy based game that I’ve been playing off and on for years. It’s mind numbing and a sort of therapy/way to pass the time.
I decided to do a day in the life of a cam girl last week and for whatever reason on this particular day, I ended up staring into space a lot. I didn’t notate when I was doing this, but you can pretty much fill in all the gaps in time with me staring into space. It is really odd that I did this at all because I’m not the type of person who likes meditative time (though I do occasionally enjoy intentional meditation). One of my close friends loves waiting rooms because it gives her time to think. My boyfriend hunts and spends most of his time in the tree stand letting his mind drift. I hate time like that. I like to either be active or numb my mind with TV or a video game.
Anyway, here is my third installment of a day in the life of a cam girl. Like the first time I created this type of post, I didn’t take the best notes and it’s been a few days and it’s a struggle to backtrack, so some of the detail on the shows and calls are lacking:
Chatted w/ some callers
Worked on pics
Cam show rough fantasy
Cam show – he talked about either me fucking his ass with a dildo or him being fucked by another man while he licked my pussy
IM session with Nick. Nick likes to do detailed stories, usually involving a slutty character named Selena. This time Selena was working as a bartender and one of her customers takes her into the bathroom to snort cocaine and fuck. I may be adding a post of the actual IM session soon. Nick lets me take calls in between IMing him, so we broke a few times so I could take calls.
Cam show with a sweet man. He fucks me in the role play (I fuck my pussy with my dildo). Then he had me suck his cock until he came in my mouth (I sucked my used dildo in front of the cam).
Continue IM session with Nick
Phone sex only call with a sissy. He told me about how he got fucked and sucked cock earlier that day. I’ve talked to this sissy a number of times before. He likes to call me to cum with me after he has hot sessions with the men in his life. This time, he jerked off while parked in his car.
Finished IM session with Nick
Lunch
Talked with caller about doing a show this afternoon
Chatted with caller
Did rough sex cam show
Daddy Dom cam show. He talk about pissing on me and hurting me. He called me a fat whore (which is the kind of humiliation I love).
Long show with new caller- watched black male/white female sucking and fucking porn. He showed me his cock and jerked it while fucking and sucking toys for me. Had me fuck my black toy, white toy, suck both and masturbate. I came three times.
Responded to emails from callers
Panty boy cam to cam. He licked his pre cum. I told him I’d sit on his face and make him lick me while he jerks for me.